I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
