we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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