what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
