She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My vagina is officially offended.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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