Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
