After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
