this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
