Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
