You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
