he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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