I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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