Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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