I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
