We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
