so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
