quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
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