that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize