tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How naked do you want me to be?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
