in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Terrible idea I love it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
