it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize