dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
