allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
