carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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