New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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