sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
In America we eat man semen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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