Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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