Don't you send me to vm
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
