Pappa wants mamma naked
Screwed.edu
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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