happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
