so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
