I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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