I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
