Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
