STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
