I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
