ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
