every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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