I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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