You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
