who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
