so explain again why im purple
no
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
