let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
