we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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