I'm lost and stupid without you.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize