Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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