I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize