the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize