I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You made out with two different species that night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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