Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
