Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
