She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
