Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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