Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
