gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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