Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
